Friday, April 10, 2009

Today is Good Friday

Well, today is Good Friday, the day almost 2000 years ago when Jesus was crucified for our sins. I feel like I should celebrate, and I almost want to. :) I wish I did want to, but I don't want to celebrate much at the moment. I really could care less that my birthday is coming up in a few weeks, but I didn't care about that two weeks ago either. All I'm going to do is sit at home like any other day waiting for Robert to come home so we can eat dinner, watch movies we've seen dozens of times, and go to bed.

I also know some of my friends are going to ask if I want to talk about Ainsley, I do! But please, give me boundaries, ask questions, otherwise it's pretty awkward. I love her, just like I love Remy, but I don't have proof she ever existed except the pain burning away at my heart and a medical exam sheet. I'm going to make a bracelet to commemorate her with purple, clear, and blue beads for when she was conceived, when she died, and when she was due. I found a pretty angel toggle clasp I'm going to use and silver angel wing beads to seperate each group of three beads - I think it's going to be beautiful, but I would rather have her. 1000 hours of labor couldn't hurt this bad.

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